Firebending Into My True Desires
Yes, there are Avatar references in this one.
SPIRIT RYDIN’ is a weekly-ish newsletter where humanness and Divinity are channeled into written medicine needed, if not by Me, then possibly by You.
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[Disclaimer: In the following freedom text, you’ll notice I focus on Desires. I use ‘Desires’ differently/separately from ‘wants’. Wants, to Me, are things that bring Us some level of dopamine/Joy to our Life, like wanting a new pair of shoes or visiting a new club. They’re nice to have but our Lives aren’t incomplete if we can’t get them. Below, I’m speaking to Desires on a soul level. Concepts and things We have an intuitive longing for. Such as desiring the experience of having children & parenthood; a creative career; or close, quality friendships with people who see You and want nothing from You but to exist. I speak to and use ‘Desires’ with a capital D to focus on the Desires that are of Our Highest Heart and for Our Highest Good - as not everything we want/desire is what we need.]
This current phase of My Life is without a doubt centered on Stillness and Intentional Decision-Making. In the in-between of My old Life and My New, this time has been showing Me the need and importance of the slow-building orchestration of My Heart’s Desires.
As a Leo with Virgo tendencies, I can easily bend the Fire of My Desires to build a plan towards what I want; drawing the outlines needed to fill whatever picture I dream to create. Sometimes, though, that Fire of Mine can burn to a point of desperation.
I can long for a Desire so deeply, so passionately, that rather than actually giving space for the True form of My Desires to appear, I end up settling for what’s most convenient, readily available, most comfy, or quickly built. And, usually, what I accept never comes close to what I truly desired.
We see this all of the time. People settling for friends or partners they don’t truly want for the sake of not being/feeling lonely. Folks who accept job offers nowhere comparative to their talent for the hopes of money, exposure or better opportunities. Even as a collective in the United States, we settle for “the lesser of two evils” when it comes to Our presidential elections (even when it means accepting nothing close to the radical futures we dream of). You would think We would have all caught the hint by now of the hard Truth that:
Your Desperation blocks Your Desires.
I’ve spoken to this before in relation to my own Life. My own desperation has led Me to settling for the potential of what could Be from those who do not have the capacity or the alignment to build towards a shared vision in family/friendship/community. It has led to opportunities and workplaces where I hoped for new heights but only felt new lows.
Friendships, community spaces, creative projects; I’ve rushed into things without fully checking to see if everything I Desired was right in front of Me. Worse, sometimes I neglected to face the Truth I was chasing breadcrumbs out of scarcity and the fear my True Desires would never come into fruition. The Fire of My Desire would burn so intensely at times that instead of wielding it to its full potential of Gestation and Creation, I would push it to near levels of Destruction and Burnout.
Outside of My Saturn Return challenging these old habits of Mine, I also believe this phase of Life is a canon event as a Leo Sun, elevating Me to My Highest radiance and shine. After all, the Life journey of a Leo is centered on Us coming back to a Love of Self in order for our TRUE capacity of Love to evolve. The Heart-centered Beings We are, Life is a culmination of events reminding Us to be just as generous with ourselves as we are with others; showing Us the wonders of validating our Worth and Heart’s Desires by Our own accord and not anyone else’s.
Stepping outside of the comfort zones of my fiery core, this phase of My Life is helping Me to learn the art of Patience and how to allow the Fire of My Desire to burn in a discerning, slow-rolling way. It reminds Me of the wisdom of Jeong Jeong from Avatar: The Last Airbender:
“Before learning firebending you must learn water and earth. Water is cool and soothing. Earth is steady and stable. But fire is alive. It breathes. It grows. Without a bender a rock will not throw itself. But fire will spread and destroy everything in its path if one does not have the will to control it. That is its destiny.”
If there is ever a time to lean into the discipline of My Waterbending abilities (Intuition & Discernment), Earthbending skills (Grounding & Practicality), and Airbending tools (Belief & Perspective), it is Now.
By learning to better direct the Fire of My Desires, when I do receive what I’m destined to it will Be withstanding, long-lasting, and sustainable. It will reflect the Truth of My Heart and not the illusions created out of My desperation.
This time requires I - and anyone else in this current phase of their Life - lean into the Truth that even with the disciplined practice of putting in the work towards Our Desires, it still may take time before they are actually seen.
Moments of Life like this are heavily dependent on Trust. Trusting it can/will happen. Trusting We can maintain/sustain the things that We desire. Trusting We are worthy of the things we Desire no matter how long it takes.
In the retelling of a conversation with a potential romantic partner, author Lyvonne Briggs answered, “I just want to,” with full knowing, feeling, and awareness of her Heart’s True Desires when asked “why she wanted to be a mom.” Though disappointed her potential partner did not want kids, she was grateful to know where he stood early on and grateful to herself for not folding on what she really wanted. Lyvonne goes on to say in the video something that has stuck with Me since I saw it:
“God knows the desires of our Heart and the existence of the desire is evidence that we are worthy of the desire. The existence of my desire to Be a mom is the evidence that I am worthy of my desire to be a mom.”
The Divine is always already validating Our worthiness of Our Desires - we just have to have the Trust it will come and the Patience for when it comes; we have to have the Discernment and Acceptance in realizing it may not come in the exact person/place/thing we expect it.
No settling, no compromising, no building connections or jumping into projects out of convenience. Rather, We must develop and keep a deep Trust in the moment that Desire will cross our paths and tap our shoulders suddenly, unexpectedly, without a doubt, faithfully. I Am worthy of My Desires in their entirety, in their Fullness, at their most radiant. As are You.
Though I may be no Hercules, I can go the distance in learning to bend the Fire of My Desires as My guiding Light and not my burning Void.
🔺 Sharing a poem of mine I recorded on social media :)
🔺 Kitty Knorr’s wisdom on how sharing our art on social media can help us combat perfectionism as creatives
🔺 Watching gaming livestreams like BoloTac’s as I work
🔺 Falling asleep to the thunderstorms this week has been a vibe
🔺 Visits from a Bumblebee Spirit
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